I'm Not Here For Your Entertainment
Well, I know it's been quite a while since I posted, nearly a year in fact, but i wanted to put all of your minds at ease: the streak continues. I thought it was time to update you on the life of Anita Mann. Why? Because I have zero desire to do actual work right now. So here's what's happened since we last spoke: winter. I'm still the same binge eating, sweat pant wearing, dance off challenging girl I was last summer. And no, I'm still not any closer to bone city than I was 10 months ago.
I decided this afternoon that I was born of the wrong species. CNN.com posted an article today about the promiscuity of female cheetahs. Basically, the are big hos. May of their litters span from different fathers. Now let me ask you something. What does a cheetah have that I do not? Spots? I truly do not understand that in a species with a dwindling population where a female has to travel hundreds of miles to find a mate, there is still enough testosterone in the pot to go back for seconds, thirds and fourths.
Maybe that's the problem with homo sapiens? Once we lost all of our hair and learned to walk upright, we lost that natural animal instinct to get crazy and find mates. No, in becoming civilized we gained a trait that will forever be my curse in my quest to bone city: choice. Think about this from a guy's perspective. You go out and meet two girls. Girl A is well dressed, pretty face, decent body and wreaks of femininity. Girl B drinks beer, burps, says out loud what everyone else is thinking to themselves, and is not afraid to punch you in the gut if you annoy her. (Guess which girl I am... and i'll give you a hint, I sure as hell haven't been dieting since we last spoke) Which girl would you choose? I mean, i'm in the market for wang and i'd still choose Girl A.
Tomorrow I'm headed to happy hour at Little Havana. Apparently, this is where the men of charm city hang out. That place is a giant sausage fest (yet i still can't seem to land myself a fella). Not only are there men there, but there are men to whom I find my self attracted. In fact, I even became a little brave the last time we went and stalked a dude around the bar. Did I actually talk this guy? Well no... clearly my attempts to attract him was the follow him around the bar and not make eye contact. I'm still not sure why this method did not work. In hind sight, I guess I'm glad that I didn't have the balls to go up and break the ice with said dude. I mean, he may or may not have been wearing his light blue shirt tightly tucked into his mathcing light blue jeans. I mean... normally, I'd consider that to be a big Yee. But hey... I was nearing the anniversary of the streak and I was getting desparate. I guess now that the anniversary has passed I'm back to looking for your every day Brady Quinn.
Still waiting,
Anita Mann
I decided this afternoon that I was born of the wrong species. CNN.com posted an article today about the promiscuity of female cheetahs. Basically, the are big hos. May of their litters span from different fathers. Now let me ask you something. What does a cheetah have that I do not? Spots? I truly do not understand that in a species with a dwindling population where a female has to travel hundreds of miles to find a mate, there is still enough testosterone in the pot to go back for seconds, thirds and fourths.
Maybe that's the problem with homo sapiens? Once we lost all of our hair and learned to walk upright, we lost that natural animal instinct to get crazy and find mates. No, in becoming civilized we gained a trait that will forever be my curse in my quest to bone city: choice. Think about this from a guy's perspective. You go out and meet two girls. Girl A is well dressed, pretty face, decent body and wreaks of femininity. Girl B drinks beer, burps, says out loud what everyone else is thinking to themselves, and is not afraid to punch you in the gut if you annoy her. (Guess which girl I am... and i'll give you a hint, I sure as hell haven't been dieting since we last spoke) Which girl would you choose? I mean, i'm in the market for wang and i'd still choose Girl A.
Tomorrow I'm headed to happy hour at Little Havana. Apparently, this is where the men of charm city hang out. That place is a giant sausage fest (yet i still can't seem to land myself a fella). Not only are there men there, but there are men to whom I find my self attracted. In fact, I even became a little brave the last time we went and stalked a dude around the bar. Did I actually talk this guy? Well no... clearly my attempts to attract him was the follow him around the bar and not make eye contact. I'm still not sure why this method did not work. In hind sight, I guess I'm glad that I didn't have the balls to go up and break the ice with said dude. I mean, he may or may not have been wearing his light blue shirt tightly tucked into his mathcing light blue jeans. I mean... normally, I'd consider that to be a big Yee. But hey... I was nearing the anniversary of the streak and I was getting desparate. I guess now that the anniversary has passed I'm back to looking for your every day Brady Quinn.
Still waiting,
Anita Mann
posted by KAKalac @ 4:03 PM
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