Butt Touching

Ok people. It's time for Anita to rant a little bit. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but it appears as though you all need a bit of refresher. BUTT TOUCHING IS NOT OK!!! I truly don't understand the fascination with any sort of grabbing, carressing or down right slapping. For me, I have zero desire to touch anything that surrounds that cavity separating the general population from your lower GI tract.

Let me put this out there boys. There are parts of a chicks body that she'll always be self conscious about. Usually these parts involve places where there's some flab (for me this is anything between my forehead and my knees.) Do you honestly think she wants this area touched? Do you want someone grabbing at your cankles or spare tire? I think not! General rule: wherever lipids are prone to accumulate (ie, guts and butts), these should be hands free zones.

Now here is my second beef. Since I've returned back to school, I've noticed a quite disturbing trend: confidence levels and correlating aggressiveness (yikes, i'm starting to sound like Sarv) of the male population. Can you explain to me why they guys who you want to show some assertiveness have zero confidence and never make a move? Yet the skeezy guys with horrendo personalities and look like they've been beaten with an ugly stick think that they are Gods gift and I should be glad they're hitting on me. News flash: YOU SUCK AT LIFE!! Take a look in the mirror and ask your friends (if you even have any) if you're the type of person who should be really aggressive with girls. Odds are the answer is a big NO.

But don't get me wrong... as a chick who refuses to make any kind of move, whatsoever, we need guys out there who will at least put themselves out there. I'm just asking that you don't come at me with your mouth wide open and your tongue handing out... oh and don't touch my butt. For example, last night at the Backer, I got "dance raped" by some skeevy guy and wouldn't let me get away. Dude, back the truck up. I dont know you, you're ugly and kind of smell bad. Do you honestly think that I'm going to make out with you by the pole with everyone watching? Sorry buddy, you don't have a snowball's chance in hell. Go try that stuff on the freshmen at Finnegans. (Yes, I know what you're thinking... you haven't gotten any in eons so you probably shouldn't be so picky. But to that I say... yes I do need to get some, but the slump buster is not going to be someone who looks and acts like rodney dangerfield... i'm looking for my own jim halpert.)

So what's your best bet? The model isn't that hard to figure out. Buy me a drink, show some interest by hanging out with me (and if i want you to take a hike... take my BLATENT hints), and maybe make sure i get home safely. That's all I ask... in fact i think that's all most normal ladies want... not to get groped at a bar with the expectation of public tonsil hockey. SICK!

Back it up!
Anita Mann