Bone City in the year 2007

Let's talk about what happens to you when you've been out of the game for more than a long while: you regress back to middle school. Things that people say they do while hooking up brings shock and awe into your gut. You think to yourself, 'By the beard of Zeus, what is wrong with people?!' and basically you have no desire to engage in any of this sort of activity. I found myself simply wanting someone to stay at home under a blanket at watch a movie with me. But then I realized that I could get this kind of satisfaction from a dog. Have I really turned into someone whose been in a 30 year marriage, minus the marriage part?

All of this stems from a conversation I had with a friend on Saturday night. Now I always knew this friend never had any trouble in the lady department but he shared some information with me that I found completely revolting about what he does with these ladies. (I should say that he did preface his statements that these were all former girlfriends.) Now at first, I thought this individual was just trying to get a rise out of me, but when I asked him to be serious, he gave me this look on his face like he was dead serious.

Now I'm not going to go into detail as to the scope of our conversation but I will say that boobs were the main topic of discussion, ie what are the best positions to bone girls with big boobs and a move that should be strictly reserved for porn only. (Let's just say it's a form of "outer-course" where the primary ingredient is boobs). This got more more than a little nervous because it made me wonder if i had been out of the game so long that hooking up had become increasingly more kinky than what I had remembered.

Also, with all of this talk about girls with big bombs, it made me feel even more insecure than I had felt before. I mean, when your gut is twice the size of your mammary glands, it pretty much looks like my entire mid section had been beaten with an ugly stick. But there is one saving grace, with a severe lack of jugs on my front, I'll never have to worry about what my friend and I had discussed on Saturday. Why? Because it's physically impossible for me to do.

Still a Nearly-A,
Anita Mann