Day Two
Well friends, it's a glorious summer day here in Charm City. The sun is out, the birds are chirpping, and the Harbor smells of toxic sludge. Thanks to all of you who responded to my email yesterday. I have some interesting prospects.
I think that one of the biggest roadblocks on my quest for boneage would be the area in which I reside. As classy as Baltimore is, it is the STD capitol of the United States. No really, one in three people here have Syphilis (yup, that's right Syphilis, the disease that the Europeans brought over to the New World and essentially wiped out the existing Native American population). Not to mention the fact that the city is full of Jersey Guidos... mmm, muscle men with hairy chests, gold chains and hair gel... if that isnt a recipe for a man sandwich, I dont know what is (A sandwich that has a 85% chance of giving you food poisoning.) I could always venture down to our Nation's capitol to find a man. After all, one would think there would be a ton of smart and motiviated young men working on the Hill. Well, as my favorite ex swimming, vajayjay fearing, DC resident explained:
"All the good guys in DC are either gay... or wait, nope, they're all just gay. Honestly, I don't know what it is. DC is like the secret gay Mecca. They all come on a pilgrimmage like the Muslims... except instead of gathering around a big black box, the gays are horrified of any sort of box."
Now, I understand that there are many modes of transportation to Bone City, however, I'd rather have a few "Lay-Overs" along the way than a direct trip via the Butt Depot.
So, I know that many of you are anxiously anticipating what is next up on my list for Day Two on my man hunt from the Grocery Store Smut Magazine (Hereinafter referred to as, "GSSM"). Well, today I am to adpot a mantra. They suggest something like "Nothing to Lose." This is allegedly supposed to aid in keeping the dating game in perspective. Now as awesome as "nothing to lose" is, I feel that I should adopt something a little more crafted towards my own personality. I think that Mike and the Mechanics had it best in their song "All I Need Is a Miracle." However, I dont want to give off that desparate vibe, and I don't want to go with the obvious "Break The Streak" mantra. So I've decided to go with a mantra which describes me to a tea. It was a phrase once coined by a man with so much passion, he can barely contain it within himself. That's right, my mantra is "I Would Do Anything For Love, But I Won't Do That" as proclaimed by the man himself, Meat Loaf.
Seeing as it's been quite the stressful week at work, the insurance minions and myself will be heading out to happy hour tonight. So with my new mantra, the warm weather and the Trifecta in tow, I'm sure to be getting on the interstate to bone city tonight. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.
Doing Anything For Love (But Not That!),
Anita Mann
I think that one of the biggest roadblocks on my quest for boneage would be the area in which I reside. As classy as Baltimore is, it is the STD capitol of the United States. No really, one in three people here have Syphilis (yup, that's right Syphilis, the disease that the Europeans brought over to the New World and essentially wiped out the existing Native American population). Not to mention the fact that the city is full of Jersey Guidos... mmm, muscle men with hairy chests, gold chains and hair gel... if that isnt a recipe for a man sandwich, I dont know what is (A sandwich that has a 85% chance of giving you food poisoning.) I could always venture down to our Nation's capitol to find a man. After all, one would think there would be a ton of smart and motiviated young men working on the Hill. Well, as my favorite ex swimming, vajayjay fearing, DC resident explained:
"All the good guys in DC are either gay... or wait, nope, they're all just gay. Honestly, I don't know what it is. DC is like the secret gay Mecca. They all come on a pilgrimmage like the Muslims... except instead of gathering around a big black box, the gays are horrified of any sort of box."
Now, I understand that there are many modes of transportation to Bone City, however, I'd rather have a few "Lay-Overs" along the way than a direct trip via the Butt Depot.
So, I know that many of you are anxiously anticipating what is next up on my list for Day Two on my man hunt from the Grocery Store Smut Magazine (Hereinafter referred to as, "GSSM"). Well, today I am to adpot a mantra. They suggest something like "Nothing to Lose." This is allegedly supposed to aid in keeping the dating game in perspective. Now as awesome as "nothing to lose" is, I feel that I should adopt something a little more crafted towards my own personality. I think that Mike and the Mechanics had it best in their song "All I Need Is a Miracle." However, I dont want to give off that desparate vibe, and I don't want to go with the obvious "Break The Streak" mantra. So I've decided to go with a mantra which describes me to a tea. It was a phrase once coined by a man with so much passion, he can barely contain it within himself. That's right, my mantra is "I Would Do Anything For Love, But I Won't Do That" as proclaimed by the man himself, Meat Loaf.
Seeing as it's been quite the stressful week at work, the insurance minions and myself will be heading out to happy hour tonight. So with my new mantra, the warm weather and the Trifecta in tow, I'm sure to be getting on the interstate to bone city tonight. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.
Doing Anything For Love (But Not That!),
Anita Mann
posted by KAKalac @ 1:59 PM
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