The Trifecta

So as many of you know, it has been quite sometime since celebacy cased its ugly curse upon me. Perhaps it is because of this curse that I have become quite lazy. I have definitly been in that "i dont care how i look" frame of mind in both my man search and my appearance. This winter I definitly began dressing for comfort, not style, and let me tell you comfort is quite unstylish. Joan Rivers would have had a heart attack had she seen the way I was leaving the house. (Fortunately for Joan, her heart, much like the rest of her body, I believe is completely artificial and made of plastic so she probably would have been ok.) When i would go out to the bars, which was very infrequently because it was cold outside and going out would have required effort, I frequently wore tee shirts. And by tee shirts i do not mean cute fitted tee shirts that cost more than most people's rent and say things like "Hooker" or had some reference to a state or ethnicity. For me, the tee shirt was the type of shirt you sleep in, work out in, or do housework in, basically why teeshirts were invented in the first place. As for the bottoms, I was a fan of my old raggedy jeans that were all frayed on the bottom, not frayed by the manufacturer, but from scraping on the ground from pure use. This tragic ensemble was usually capped off with either sneakers or an old pair of Doc Martins. Perhaps I was channeling my inner lesbian with this look or I was subconsiously thinking about swithching teams. (I guess that's just one of those questions that never get answered like Who Built the Pyramids? or Why did Paris and Nicole break up?)Thankfully, spring time arrived and i relized that I am just your regular, redblooded, meat and potato eating heterosexual. So step one was to begin to dress better, which thanks to a recent shopping trip to Chicago, I have achieved.

However, I have yet to grasp the idea of makeup and pheromones (which by the way, I am convinced I completely lack). This was all easy to fix: slap on a little gloss and spritz myself with something with an adverb in the title. Done and done.

The third and final step of my feminization would be finding a new deordarant. Insert shameful plug for Proctor and Gamble products. As you all know, I am a very competitive person. So, not being the type to back away from a challenge, I decided to take on the Old Spice High Endurance Challenge. And let's just say I lost. I fell in love with not only the sweat protection but also the smell. If I couldn't be close enough to a guy to bask in the scent of eau de dude, I could at least get a whiff whenever I wanted by just bypassing the guy and smelling like one myself. However, with my new feminine makeover, I had been advised to dump the old spice and purchase myself that is pH balanced for a woman.

And thus, in addition to dressing 'cute', the Trifecta was born: Makeup, Perfume and Lady Deodarant.

So now, in another attempt to hitch a ride to bone city, the Trifecta will be an important part of my journey.

Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman,
Anita Mann