Project Anita Mann
Today is July 12th and do we all know what happens on July 12th? Well, it's the return of Project Runway on Bravo! I cannot even begin to convey my excitement. It's like the night before Christmas. Who will Nina Garcia snap at? What metaphors will Michael Kors use to describe the inevitable hideousness of some designer's outfit (think Reymundo Balthazar or Starr from season one... and what kind of name is Starr... with two Rs and no last name anyway) What color plunging neckline dress will Heidi Klum wear and will it be partnered with dramatic eye makeup? And most importantly, Will Tim Gunn ever find love in this crazy world now that Andre is gone? Does anyone else hope that Diana Eng pulls a Daniel Franco and returns for season three just so we can listen to the sound of her voice?
I think I should start my own Project Runway-esque contest in order to find myself a man. I'll have a bunch of men parade around on a runway, a man pageant if you will, and assign them challenges to complete. After each challenge one of the contenders will get the Auf Wiedersen. Challenges will include buying the perfect present, general overall appearance, your occassional ND football pop quiz, and of course, a dance off. Clealry, the judges will include icons and serial daters like the former office resident Man Whore (who has since moved back to denver and works at Enterprise Rent A Car and takes tourists on fly fishing expeditions) and of course La Lohan. Then of course you'd have your iconic guest judge for the week. You never know who'll show up on Project Anita Mann. Will it be someone with a lifesized poster of herself at Finnegans? Will it be our favorite Account Coordinator, Thad Doyle? Or will it culminate with Preggers herself clacking away... she's EVERYWHERE!
I have yet another reason why going to a bar on an off night is a potentially scary thing to do. If you recall, I conversed with two drunk dudes who were a little on the odd side. There was the somewhat cute Lion/Weasel hybrid and his wing man. At some point in their conversation, before they brough me into the mix, the Lion/Weasel said to the Wing man: You've been on how many dates and she hasn't blown you yet? This leads me to the ongoing debate of the day. How many dates can a girl get away with before mouthifying her male companion is not only expected, but required. I mean seriously, enlighten me. I did not realize that there were rules for this type of situation. And what is they date to bj ratio these days? Five for every one or is it more like one or two? I've been out of the game for a long time here people so have the rules really cahnged that much? The other big question here is what qualifies as a date? I mean, I don't think hanging out on a dude's couch watching him play video games and drinking beer constitutes as a date. And what happens if you do on an actual date where he opens the door and pays for your meal. If there is no alcohol involved, I dont think that a mouthification session is really in the cards. So until I hear otherwise or someone enlightens me on BJ protocol, I'm going to stick with keeping the streak alive for the time being.
Make It Work,
Anita Mann
I think I should start my own Project Runway-esque contest in order to find myself a man. I'll have a bunch of men parade around on a runway, a man pageant if you will, and assign them challenges to complete. After each challenge one of the contenders will get the Auf Wiedersen. Challenges will include buying the perfect present, general overall appearance, your occassional ND football pop quiz, and of course, a dance off. Clealry, the judges will include icons and serial daters like the former office resident Man Whore (who has since moved back to denver and works at Enterprise Rent A Car and takes tourists on fly fishing expeditions) and of course La Lohan. Then of course you'd have your iconic guest judge for the week. You never know who'll show up on Project Anita Mann. Will it be someone with a lifesized poster of herself at Finnegans? Will it be our favorite Account Coordinator, Thad Doyle? Or will it culminate with Preggers herself clacking away... she's EVERYWHERE!
I have yet another reason why going to a bar on an off night is a potentially scary thing to do. If you recall, I conversed with two drunk dudes who were a little on the odd side. There was the somewhat cute Lion/Weasel hybrid and his wing man. At some point in their conversation, before they brough me into the mix, the Lion/Weasel said to the Wing man: You've been on how many dates and she hasn't blown you yet? This leads me to the ongoing debate of the day. How many dates can a girl get away with before mouthifying her male companion is not only expected, but required. I mean seriously, enlighten me. I did not realize that there were rules for this type of situation. And what is they date to bj ratio these days? Five for every one or is it more like one or two? I've been out of the game for a long time here people so have the rules really cahnged that much? The other big question here is what qualifies as a date? I mean, I don't think hanging out on a dude's couch watching him play video games and drinking beer constitutes as a date. And what happens if you do on an actual date where he opens the door and pays for your meal. If there is no alcohol involved, I dont think that a mouthification session is really in the cards. So until I hear otherwise or someone enlightens me on BJ protocol, I'm going to stick with keeping the streak alive for the time being.
Make It Work,
Anita Mann
posted by KAKalac @ 8:37 AM
2 Comments:
At 11:03 AM,
Anonymous said…
So this is my chance to name drop. I met last year's winner, Chloe, at this hipster bar in Houston about 3 or 4 months ago. Unfortunately, I don't watch Project Runway so I kind of looked clueless. But when it comes out on DVD, I might rent it and see what all the hoopla is about. That is all.
At 7:03 PM,
Anonymous said…
Kim - you're hitting time where you should stop worrying about the BJs - it's now the frequency of sex.
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