Friends with Benefits?
As many of you know, I have an early morning work routine. Come in, check my email, get some coffee, and go through my website routine: perezhilton.com, pinkisthenewblog.com, weather.com, espn.com and finally msnbc.com. On today's front page, below all of the articles about emmy nominations, Kenneth Lay's kicking the bucket and the Mexican presidential electiosn there was an article entitled: Sexploration, is 'friends with benefits' a good idea? So of course I read it even though I felt wrong for doing so at the office... some of the language was quite graphic. Basically this lady had written in to MSNBC's resident Sex doctor saying that she's in her mid 40s and hadn't had sex in five years lady, cry me a river! I guess she's had some difficulty in the past with guys lying about their marital status and sexual orientation... now i can see how men can lie about being married but to lie about sexual orientation? I mean, clearly if the guy is persuing you, he's into girls on some level... so what's the problem? Ok sure, maybe he is using you as "an experiment" or he has bisexual tendencies, but if you haven't gotten any in five years, your Lion's sexual orientation is a quality that you shouldn't be too concered about. Beggers can't be choosers. Apparently some of her friends had suggested having a "friend with benefits."
This got me to thinking, maybe a friend with benefits would be like getting EZ Pass on the Thruway. Still a long journey to bone city, but with the occassional quicker line at the toll plaza. For me, I'd have to find a new friend with whom to have benefits. As much as I adore all of my male friends, I'm sorry but I don't want to see you in the buff. Gross... that is a thought that just gives me the heebeejeebies. In fact, many of my male friends wear, in my mid, Ken underwear. For those of you who don't know, Ken underwear is permenant underwear that can never be taken off, much like the Ken doll: it is soddered right onto the body. That way there is never any fear of seeing any of the guy's gonadular region. But I digress. Maybe I dont want to be friends with benefits with any of my friends because they tend to offer up too much information regarding their own sexual conquests. Which guys, tends to be a bit of an overshare... a simple 'got some play last night, it's gonna be a good day' would be more than enough information. So where does this leave me? Do I find a new friend to be beneficial with? Well, there's no point to that. If the ultimate goal is to get some booty, I say stop beating around the bush with the friend crap and just go right for the glory! Becoming friends first takes a lot of time and effort that I just don't have the energy for.
When you begin hooking up with a friend, there's the unknown territory of attachment. Considering i've never done anything of the sort, I cannot say with certainty that I wouldn't get attached, particularly b/c I have a friendship invested in addition to the potential 'O face.' Although, boys, don't flatter yourselves, I'm a tough sell. However, I like to think using a friend for some 'companionship' would not allow me to become attached to you. Let's be honest, I don't really care what or who you do in your spare time. In fact, I don't even want to know. The coumnist warns that 'once the clitoris gets involved, the heart follows.' A#1 GROSS! B#2, that may be true for your typical needy and clingy girly girl, but when you're someone whose number one person is themselves... I dont find this being a problem.
In conclusion, after going through the great 'friends with benefits' debate in my head, I have concluded that there will be no bumping of the nasties between myself and any male friend, current or future.
How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?,
Anita Mann
This got me to thinking, maybe a friend with benefits would be like getting EZ Pass on the Thruway. Still a long journey to bone city, but with the occassional quicker line at the toll plaza. For me, I'd have to find a new friend with whom to have benefits. As much as I adore all of my male friends, I'm sorry but I don't want to see you in the buff. Gross... that is a thought that just gives me the heebeejeebies. In fact, many of my male friends wear, in my mid, Ken underwear. For those of you who don't know, Ken underwear is permenant underwear that can never be taken off, much like the Ken doll: it is soddered right onto the body. That way there is never any fear of seeing any of the guy's gonadular region. But I digress. Maybe I dont want to be friends with benefits with any of my friends because they tend to offer up too much information regarding their own sexual conquests. Which guys, tends to be a bit of an overshare... a simple 'got some play last night, it's gonna be a good day' would be more than enough information. So where does this leave me? Do I find a new friend to be beneficial with? Well, there's no point to that. If the ultimate goal is to get some booty, I say stop beating around the bush with the friend crap and just go right for the glory! Becoming friends first takes a lot of time and effort that I just don't have the energy for.
When you begin hooking up with a friend, there's the unknown territory of attachment. Considering i've never done anything of the sort, I cannot say with certainty that I wouldn't get attached, particularly b/c I have a friendship invested in addition to the potential 'O face.' Although, boys, don't flatter yourselves, I'm a tough sell. However, I like to think using a friend for some 'companionship' would not allow me to become attached to you. Let's be honest, I don't really care what or who you do in your spare time. In fact, I don't even want to know. The coumnist warns that 'once the clitoris gets involved, the heart follows.' A#1 GROSS! B#2, that may be true for your typical needy and clingy girly girl, but when you're someone whose number one person is themselves... I dont find this being a problem.
In conclusion, after going through the great 'friends with benefits' debate in my head, I have concluded that there will be no bumping of the nasties between myself and any male friend, current or future.
How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?,
Anita Mann
posted by KAKalac @ 12:30 PM
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