Curses, Foiled Again!

I was recently invited to a rather ridiculous party involving bathing suits and water, so clearly, I'll be attending (obvi)! I didn't want to wear the same tired old bathing suit that I wear all the time or the other option, a faded out speedo with a whole in the butt so I took a trip over to Water Water Everywhere to find a new suit. It was during this shopping excursion that I realized that the one and only, Sarah Bowman who I may or may not have outed as a Lesbian in a drunken stupor... and for the record, she is NOT, is my new idol. Since the party I'll be attending is going to be absolutly ridic, I was trying to think of what the most iconic person I knew would wear. And that icon is none other than Ms. Bowman. As I was going through the racks of suits by Michael Kors, Ralph Lauren, Shoshanna, and D&G the only deciding factor as to which suit I would try on was "Would Sarah Bowman wear this suit?" If the answer was no, the suit would get thrown into the "Frump" pile and I would continue with my quest. Clearly, I was more worried about what this icon, who probably won't even see me in this suit, would think, not whether it would look good on me. I finally settled for a Bowman worthy Betsy Johnson suit that essentially looks like a french maid's underwear. Let's just say that it's black lace with white lace trim and a rhinestone decal of puckering lips on the butt. The suit will look amazing capped off with the white straw hat I purchased to compliment the suit as well as my amazing rhinestone Channel sunglasses (wow... i am a giant label whore!) The difference between me wearing the Bowman worthy suit and Bowman wearing the suit is my spare tire, Stewie, will be making a cameo apperance as opposed to Bowman's amazing magical boobs. For those of you who know Sarah Bowman, you know exactly what I'm talking about. For those of you who don't know Sarah Bowman, well, I'm sorry, you're just not that privledged! Divine Ms. B., I'm your number one fan!

Since it was a holiday weekend, I haven't been keeping up with Perez Hilton lately. It's what I do at work! After reading my last diary entry proclaiming my love and admiration for NPH, a co worker informed me that Perez Hilton recently dicussed Mr. Harris having A BOYFRIEND! How did I not see this coming? I mean, he was in RENT!

Speaking of hot gay boyfriends, I thought I'd update you on my quest to talk to three cute babes. I found myself a potential latin lover while shopping this past weekend. Now I usually don't go for the Latin type, but this man was beautiful. Very Mark Consuelo (damn you Kelly Ripa) with green eyes. As I was chatting him up, he began to mention how excited he was about the tickets he just got for the upcoming Esther concert. And by Esther, I mean Madonna. This was hint number two that the boy was gay. What was tip number one... well he was my shoe salesman. I wondered why I had no qualms about chatting this boy up. Yet another reason why the best ass in town is gay ass!

My second attempt at chatting up a hot babe occurred at my local starbucks this weekend. I thanked the cutie for holding the door for me and mentioned how nice it is to see that there are nice guys around. After giving him my best come hither look which still looked slightly like The Rock the potential prey looked me up and down and gave me the "wow, you are so far out of your league and you don't even realize it... PATHETIC" look, turned around and walked to the other line so that I wouldn't talk to him anymore. Ok people, I def got the visual rejection... you would think that my ego would have deflated... well it did.

The weekend was almost over and I still needed a third cute guy to chat up. Well, haven taken my visiting mother to dinner at ouback last night don't judge, outback is some damn good eating I was fortunate enough to be steated at a table with a sexy waiter. When big momma went to the rest room to wash her hands, I attemepted to talk to the hot waiter. I mentioned that I was all excited to see the fire works and as he began to respond, here comes the game killer herself back to the table, Mom, who then opened her mouth about me opting for a salad as opposed to a steak. FOILED AGAIN!! (And who orders salad at outback anyway?!?!) I mean, this one had potential. Even though he's not really my type and worked at outback... I'm not looking for a ring, just your occassional pickle tickle!

By the way, my thoughts are with David Hasselhoff has he recovers from his freak shaving accident which required surgery. Hasselhoff, you're still the man!

Outback: a great place for meat,
Anita Mann