Livin' The Life That I Want
I wanted to start off today's entry with a quick hello, how are ya to Slutbag's little sister, the supreme chancellor of the We-HA, at One Tower Square. I'm so glad my lack of boneage is inspiring to you. Thanks for all of your encouragement, there will be a charitable donation request pending going towards the purchase of a male escort, or at minium, a vibrator!
It's been quite a day here in the office. The token asian one came in with a new hairdo this morning, although he didnt realize that he had a new look until we discovered it when he turned around. Having spent $35 for a hair cut, he came in with the sides of his hair short and the top of his head long. However, the "stylist" also left a triangle of long hair in the back of his head. It looked like the landing strip most girls ask for from their bikini waxer. All that was missing was the lightning bolts on the side of his head. The only way to discribe this look was to say that he went to the stylist with a picture of Maddox Jolie-Pitt and said: this is the look I'm going for. Unfortch, he went to a different salon to get the most amazing hair cut ever fixed, so now he looks respectable again. Maybe someday the sexiest haircut ever will make a return to glory!
Now that I dont have to study in the evenings I have been able to watch a lot of tv. So much so that even the commercials arouse my interest, particularly those commercials that advertise for Genital Herpes. I have never seen so many people excited about a sexually transmitted disease in my life! I mean, I know that if it were me and some random dude gave me the Clap or the drip, I would have his testicles in an iron vice on my desk, die my hair black and start dressing like Michael Jackson. But hey, I guess you're not cool unless you contract Genital Herpes. One of the commercials even has a jingle whose lyrics are "Livin' The Life That I Want" So what does that tell us? Well, if you want to be cool, sleep around with ditry people. If you want to be rich and famous, don't use protection. And for myself, if I ever have any hopes of being a Lady Who Lunches, find myself a homeless crack addict on Baltimore Street and pray that he is diseased.
Today's GSSM tip was a little scary for me. I have been unable to actually attempt this tip yet as it is only 4:17, and according to the Musinator, I would have more luck in the dark. Today I am to chat up at least three hot babes. Make small talk with a sexy waiter to help me to open up and practice my fliting skills. Well, considering the only places I've been today are work and Chipotle, where by the way I have yet to find a sexy babe, looks like I have a few more hours to complete this task... it may have to wait till tomorrow when I go duck pin bowling. However, I think I should clarify what I'm looking for in a man. Good looking (aka well dressed and hygenically sound), gets along with parents, loves sports (particularly ND football), and will keep me in the manner to which I have become accustomed (aka gotta have at least a little something in the bank.) I will be taking applications via the comment section, so ugly and poor losers need not apply.
Lookin for love in all the wrong places,
Anita Mann
It's been quite a day here in the office. The token asian one came in with a new hairdo this morning, although he didnt realize that he had a new look until we discovered it when he turned around. Having spent $35 for a hair cut, he came in with the sides of his hair short and the top of his head long. However, the "stylist" also left a triangle of long hair in the back of his head. It looked like the landing strip most girls ask for from their bikini waxer. All that was missing was the lightning bolts on the side of his head. The only way to discribe this look was to say that he went to the stylist with a picture of Maddox Jolie-Pitt and said: this is the look I'm going for. Unfortch, he went to a different salon to get the most amazing hair cut ever fixed, so now he looks respectable again. Maybe someday the sexiest haircut ever will make a return to glory!
Now that I dont have to study in the evenings I have been able to watch a lot of tv. So much so that even the commercials arouse my interest, particularly those commercials that advertise for Genital Herpes. I have never seen so many people excited about a sexually transmitted disease in my life! I mean, I know that if it were me and some random dude gave me the Clap or the drip, I would have his testicles in an iron vice on my desk, die my hair black and start dressing like Michael Jackson. But hey, I guess you're not cool unless you contract Genital Herpes. One of the commercials even has a jingle whose lyrics are "Livin' The Life That I Want" So what does that tell us? Well, if you want to be cool, sleep around with ditry people. If you want to be rich and famous, don't use protection. And for myself, if I ever have any hopes of being a Lady Who Lunches, find myself a homeless crack addict on Baltimore Street and pray that he is diseased.
Today's GSSM tip was a little scary for me. I have been unable to actually attempt this tip yet as it is only 4:17, and according to the Musinator, I would have more luck in the dark. Today I am to chat up at least three hot babes. Make small talk with a sexy waiter to help me to open up and practice my fliting skills. Well, considering the only places I've been today are work and Chipotle, where by the way I have yet to find a sexy babe, looks like I have a few more hours to complete this task... it may have to wait till tomorrow when I go duck pin bowling. However, I think I should clarify what I'm looking for in a man. Good looking (aka well dressed and hygenically sound), gets along with parents, loves sports (particularly ND football), and will keep me in the manner to which I have become accustomed (aka gotta have at least a little something in the bank.) I will be taking applications via the comment section, so ugly and poor losers need not apply.
Lookin for love in all the wrong places,
Anita Mann
posted by KAKalac @ 4:12 PM
1 Comments:
At 11:52 AM,
Anonymous said…
Kim, I was down at the Jersey shore last weekend and I met your perfect match--he was a total guido in a t-shirt with cut off sleeves and gold necklaces. But, the best part was his huge tattoo: A flaming superman logo but instead of an "S" in the triangle, it was "ND".
I gave him your number; hope that's ok!
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