The Girly Girl In Me Comes Through!
It was a rather interesting morning. I woke up and realized that yes, it was still raining. I got up, made my bed and went into the bathroom to do my bathroom stuff. When I turned on the light, I caught something out of the corner of my eye so I looked at my bath tub and crawling out of the drain was this ginormous bug. It was about two inches long and skinny with about 500 legs that were super long. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. I didnt want to get near the thing b/c it freaked me out! (I hate things that creep and crawl and live in the ground... blech!) I was at an impass. I didnt want to be within a 10 foot radius of this thing, yet I wanted it dead. And not just heart attack dead, but Mafia hit dead! So what did I do... I came up with the only solution I could think of at 7 am. I went to kitchen, got a solo cup, turned it upside down and covered the bug with the intention of having one of the guys from work come over and kill the thing b/c I certainly wasn't going to go anywhere near it. When I went to work I discovered that this insect that looked like something that could have been cast in the lead role of the Aliens movies was actually a silver fish and wouldn't bite. I wasn't concerned about it biting me, I was more fearful of the thing crawling up my arm and down my shirt or something... just the thought of it gives me the hee-bee-jee-bees.
So whats the point of this story? Well, its to inform everyone that Chivalry is not dead, even though I had my doubts this morning. I had originally called upon the only division one athlete I knew to come and kill the bug. I guess the Patriot League is nothing to write home about because he refused to come to my aid and kill the trapped beast in my bath tub. And to think, this is the same individual who came up with the Zebra theory. All I have to say is that a real Lion wouln't have been afraid to slay this monster. But then, an unlikely hero came to my rescue. My knight in shining armor was none other than Jager king of South Patterson Park Avenue. He arrived on his noble stallion (aka his white GMC Jimmy) and with one fell swoop of his foot, crushed the wretched beast into oblivion. He then went above and beyond the call of duty and disposed of the insect so that I would have have to see it again. Today I can say that Chivalry lives and his name is Wyatt.
And now for the GSSM top of the day. Today the recommendation is to join a group with a large guy to girl ration like a sports team or Habitat for Humanity. Now, I am all about helping those less fortunate than I, however that is why you hire an architect and contractor. Hopefully when I one day reach my goal of becoming a Lady Who Lunches, I will be able to give back to the community through philanthropic means as opposed to actually getting dirty and building a house. I have one piece of advise: contractors are like cleaning ladys, everyone should have one. As for the joining the sports team suggestion, well many of you already know that I am a very important person on my Kickball team. Not only am i a quality bunter, but i also double as team manager keeping track of the score and game stats. Its a terribly shameful job, but I prefer sitting back, drinking beer, and looking pretty in my outrageously large sunglasses than going out in the field where balls are flying at my head. There is also the little problem that I have no qualms about dropping the shoulder trying to knock the 2nd basemen off the base so as to secure my safety. The only problem with this is that sometimes I come at the basemen with such force that i have a tendency to lift the girl into the air and have her land about 5 feet from where she started. I get the feeling that this is not going to give the guys a good incentive to come a runnin. As for the guy situation at kickball, well, there's the guys on my team, all of which are people with whom I work and I can honestly say that I have more testosterone than they do. Then there are the guys on the other team. Now here is a brief discription of some of the other teams. There's Kneee Brace is has a rather intense obsession with his new truck. There's the guy who insists on wearing yellow stretch under armor. And there's the small Asian guy with the mohawk who acts like he injects Red Bull directly into his veins. Now if that doesn't sound like a group of stud muffins, I don't know what does.
I'm starting to feel like I'm driving around in circles and cannot find the on ramp to the super highway to bone city. I'd stop and ask for directions but I'm in an area where the only person around is a guy named Mo who has three teeth, a rat tail and wears a flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off. I wish there was Bone City GPS!
Seriously considering purchasing Tom Tom,
Anita Mann
So whats the point of this story? Well, its to inform everyone that Chivalry is not dead, even though I had my doubts this morning. I had originally called upon the only division one athlete I knew to come and kill the bug. I guess the Patriot League is nothing to write home about because he refused to come to my aid and kill the trapped beast in my bath tub. And to think, this is the same individual who came up with the Zebra theory. All I have to say is that a real Lion wouln't have been afraid to slay this monster. But then, an unlikely hero came to my rescue. My knight in shining armor was none other than Jager king of South Patterson Park Avenue. He arrived on his noble stallion (aka his white GMC Jimmy) and with one fell swoop of his foot, crushed the wretched beast into oblivion. He then went above and beyond the call of duty and disposed of the insect so that I would have have to see it again. Today I can say that Chivalry lives and his name is Wyatt.
And now for the GSSM top of the day. Today the recommendation is to join a group with a large guy to girl ration like a sports team or Habitat for Humanity. Now, I am all about helping those less fortunate than I, however that is why you hire an architect and contractor. Hopefully when I one day reach my goal of becoming a Lady Who Lunches, I will be able to give back to the community through philanthropic means as opposed to actually getting dirty and building a house. I have one piece of advise: contractors are like cleaning ladys, everyone should have one. As for the joining the sports team suggestion, well many of you already know that I am a very important person on my Kickball team. Not only am i a quality bunter, but i also double as team manager keeping track of the score and game stats. Its a terribly shameful job, but I prefer sitting back, drinking beer, and looking pretty in my outrageously large sunglasses than going out in the field where balls are flying at my head. There is also the little problem that I have no qualms about dropping the shoulder trying to knock the 2nd basemen off the base so as to secure my safety. The only problem with this is that sometimes I come at the basemen with such force that i have a tendency to lift the girl into the air and have her land about 5 feet from where she started. I get the feeling that this is not going to give the guys a good incentive to come a runnin. As for the guy situation at kickball, well, there's the guys on my team, all of which are people with whom I work and I can honestly say that I have more testosterone than they do. Then there are the guys on the other team. Now here is a brief discription of some of the other teams. There's Kneee Brace is has a rather intense obsession with his new truck. There's the guy who insists on wearing yellow stretch under armor. And there's the small Asian guy with the mohawk who acts like he injects Red Bull directly into his veins. Now if that doesn't sound like a group of stud muffins, I don't know what does.
I'm starting to feel like I'm driving around in circles and cannot find the on ramp to the super highway to bone city. I'd stop and ask for directions but I'm in an area where the only person around is a guy named Mo who has three teeth, a rat tail and wears a flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off. I wish there was Bone City GPS!
Seriously considering purchasing Tom Tom,
Anita Mann
posted by KAKalac @ 4:25 PM
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